================= EDITORIAL ===================

MILESTONES

I had three topics that I was considering for this month but just couldn't seem to get motivated to write anything down.  Finally, this weekend it became clear to me to talk about milestones.  The big half-century occurred for me last week.  It isn't as though I was in denial.  Anyone who knows me will tell you that all of last year I was telling people about the upcoming milestone.  l have loved getting older - I am just not one of those people that feel a need to celebrate the event.  Despite what some may think, I don't like to be the center of attention.  It makes me feel awkward.   Besides, then I feel badly when I forget (as I usually do) other people's birthdays.

So what was different this time.  One never feels any different.  I wasn't get excited or depressed.  Here it is.  I simply can not process it.  I can not comprehend that I am 50.  It does not compute.  It is the strangest feeling - that is, when I bother to stop and notice it.

So I gave up and began to reflect about other major milestones in my life  Perhaps other than turning twenty-one, none of them have been related to age.   In earlier societal structures, the rites of passage properly marked the major milestones of our lives.  This seems to make perfect sense to me.  Twenty years ago, you were old at 65.  Then it became a moving target.

I don't care if a rite of passage is artificial.  I think it makes sense to know were you stand and what can now be expected of you.  It doesn't mean I have to conform.  I was never one to measure up much to other people's expectations anyway.  But at least I would know where I stood.

What exactly is a milestone anyway?  There are two definitions in the dictionary.  The first talks about a post or a pillar to indicate a distance in miles from a given point.  Rites of passage serve this purpose.  The second refers to a turning point or important event in a lifetime or career.  Now that is another interesting thing entirely.  These types of milestones for me have been far less public that one might think and include:

~  the first time I knew that I had truly fallen in love
~  my first betrayal by someone that I loved
~  the loss of my faith
~  my introduction to sudden death

I don't know if turning fifty is a rite of passage, but it most certainly is a major pillar in the road of life from my birth.  When I was in my late teens, I could not imagine moving past the pillar of 25.  Now, here I am at twice the distance with hopefully another 25 year stretch of time in my future.

Besides a lack of comprehension about hitting this milestone, are there any insights that I have about it?  I am very conscious of how my body is changing and beginning to rebel.  But that has been happening for almost a decade now.  Becoming acquainted with Death has been a strange milestone. 

I have been very fortunate to have lived this long and had very few visits by Death to my house.  For others, Death is the stranger who has come knocking on their door more frequently.  One thing is different at 50.  You begin to realize and accept that Death is no longer a stranger but a neighbour who has moved into your community.  You begin to pay your respects and accept their presence in your life and the lives of those your care about.  And consequently, you do begin to worry less and less about the small things in life and begin to live your life as you should have 25 years ago.

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