The Coaching Option: March 2001 E-zine Meeting the Other Person Half Way

=================== UPDATES ==================

Busy, busy, busy. It seems that I have been attracting all sorts of work lately both in coaching and in facilitation.

I hope to set up a free teleclass on how Appreciative Inquiry can be used in the Coaching Conversation. This will be in conjunction with a colleague of mine and we hope to offer it later in March. I will also be scheduling in March a free one hour teleclass on *Making a Fantastic First Impression: Using The Power of Positive Body Language.* If you think you might be interested in either topic, send an e-mail to teleclass@getresponse.com I will get back to you with the dates and details.

Two free teleclasses classes on: Making a Fantastic First Impression – The Power of Positive Body Language are scheduled.

• One Thursday, March 29, 2001, from 5-6pm Eastern
• One Wednesday, April 25, 2001, from 2-3pm Eastern

Send an e-mail to teleclass@getresponse.com and I will notify you with the dates and details of any free teleclasses that I offer.

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Meeting the Other Person Half Way

Life is good so you don’t hear me complaining much these days. This has been a bit of a disappointment to many of my fans! Well it isn’t that I don’t have anything to rant and rave about. Take the other day for example. A colleague canceled an appointment on me. Now in my business, that is not only common. In fact, it is expected that if a client or prospect comes along, that takes precedent. I That wasn’t the problem, but here is my issue. Am I being picky in assuming the person who cancels should be the one to follow-up to establish a new date? Well, in this case, the person left a message saying, "Sorry, have to cancel, call me next week to reschedule."

Hey, this annoyed me no end and brings me to the true topic for this month. When is trying to be supportive going too far. I am getting a little tired of always being the one to try and make the connections. Believe it or not, I have a preference for introversion so being a social gadfly is not my first choice. However, I have made a personal commitment to be of assistance to others. I also know the importance of establishing good relationships in my field. Consequently, I do spend quite a bit of time networking to locate those like-minded souls that I value and trust. They are fewer than you might think BUT I have been extremely fortunate.

Here are the guidelines that I have set for myself. I always return telephone calls and e-mails even if I am not very interested in doing so. If another friend or colleague refers someone to me, I always agree to meet with him or her, either over coffee or on the phone. When I meet someone new who is in my line of work, I am receptive to meeting with him or her at least once to discuss what it is that I actually do. I am willing to lend out books or provide references to other resources. As long as I keep a list, I have been successful in getting my materials back –even if it has taken months on some occasions.

I think that this approach is going at least half way to towards the other person. As a result, I have been blessed with great working relationships and colleagues with whom I share referrals, work and learning. Yes, there will always be some individuals who want to develop relationships with us and we may not share the same interest. But what about professionalism, courtesy and just plain showing support and encouragement to another human being?

In the spirit of those out there who present the image of caring without the time and effort that is required, how about being up front. You know – telling the truth, being direct and facing the feedback. Here are some suggestions that perhaps you could use to avoid having to do lunch or coffee with someone:

• Yes, let’s get together. I am terrible busy these days, so let me call you when I have some time.
• I am sure you are a very nice person, but you are not my type.
• I am so sorry, but I’m not sure what I can get out of it.
• Thanks, but unless you have some work for me, I don’t think it would be worthwhile for me to commit this time.

And, finally in the spirit of Bette Davis who once said in a movie: "I’d love to date you, but I just washed my hair." . . .

• I would love to meet you for coffee, but I don’t eat or drink.

I N S T R U C T I O N S F O R L I F E (from the Dali Lama)

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
                                Respect for self
                                Respect for others and
                                Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

Copyright (c) 2001 by Ward-Green and Hill Associates Ltd.
All rights reserved. Reproduction for publication is encouraged,
with the following attribution: From "The Coaching Option," by
Roberta F. Hill, http://www.coachingoption.com

DISCLAIMER: 

The Coaching Option is intended for reference and imagination purposes only. This newsletter is not intended to substitute for professional advice and we assume no liability for any actions taken by anyone in response to material presented here.